School Report – does anyone care?

Mr13 came bouncing home this afternoon. He had a letter from his rugby coach. It told him what he did well this year, what he needs to work on, and which famous rugby player he is most like. He was encouraged to watch the famous player closely and emulate him.
This all reminds me of a school report – except for one key fact: Mr13 has never remotely cared about his school report.
How do we change school reports so that they have the same effect as Mr13’s rugby letter?